Christmas. It's not our tradition but it's what we make of it.

I had an interesting chat today with my main man Ty. It's that time of year- Christmas and it's in the air in the valley. Well, about as in the rainy, foggy, overcast air as Christmas on the west coast can be.

Christmas is so commercial these days. You're socialized into buying into the holiday by others who have been socialized into doing the same. You spend yourself broke buying stuff for family and friends and then spend until next spring trying to climb out of the debt you accumulated buying stuff that the other person probably barely uses or has broken.

They say that Christmas is for kids but even kids are groomed by media and advertising to consume and spend all through their childhoods and teens into young adulthood. Groomed, victimized is more like it.

There's another aspect to Christmas, one that applies specifically to aboriginal peoples and that's Christmas was never one of our traditions until it was brought here by white people. Actually, Christmas is probably nothing like how even their own people celebrate it today. It's a tradition that we have bought into- literally. While I agree that Christmas was never one of our people’s traditions I am mindful of the fact that our people don't ascribe to all of our traditions anymore.

There's a dichotomy between Christmas and aboriginal traditions. I think the same thing about this that I do a great many other things that were introduced after contact: they are what you make of them. I don't think you can be, or should try to be a traditional puritan but this is not to say that you can't have respect for our traditions in concert with others. And regardless one's nationality there is a tenet which I think universal to all cultures-- respect for one another and it can be fairly applied here.

I said Christmas is what you make of it. I choose to make Christmas a time for family. It's a time for families to get together, be together and enjoy one another’s company. Maybe you cook a special meal like turkey, eat together, reminisce, have a few laughs and just enjoy one another’s company.

Every year is another year that you have one another and you have to embrace this because one day you're going to die. Yes there are other times throughout the year when you can get together and do this, true. But because of the pace of many peoples lives this is more easily said that done. Having said this, you can devote time and space to spending Christmas together with family. That's what Christmas is to me and that's all that it means to me: its a time for family to be together.

Being together and basking in the warmth of the company of family means more to me than any present I could buy or be bought. You can't take a Christmas present with you when you die. What you can take with you though are memories and experiences like being with family on Christmas.

I often tell this story in another context but it revolves around Christmas which makes it relevant here. In 1997 I went to visit and drop off a Christmas card at some relatives of mine, Allan and Rosie Ross. When I walked in the house I was taken back by what I seen and felt. All six of their grown children were there with their spouses. Also there were all of their grandchildren. Everyone was sitting about doing their thing and enjoying each others company, especially the parents. I often think they relished these times especially in their old age knowing there wouldn't be many more. The warmth and love resonating and glowing in their front room that Christmas Eve is something I will never forget.

The context I tell the story in has to do with the number of children I have- five. People often look at me in shock when I say how many I have and they wonder how we do it in this day and age. I tell them the story of the Ross's that Christmas Eve and how I felt like I was watching my wife and I 25 years from now, basking in the warmth and love of the company of our family.

Christmas is what you make of it. You decide.